How Much Moé ‘Til You’re Satisfied!?

by Bolt Vanderhuge

sokawaiiWhile not exactly a recent phenomenon, I’ve noticed that this moé shit has been making its way into more and more anime that”s been coming out since about 2000. This is more often than not what I”m referring to when I say “cutesy shit,” though not always.  What am I talking about?  Moé, bitches.

I honestly don’t understand why this is as popular as it is, as the most enjoyment I ever got out of it was to make fun of it.  What exactly is so cute or attractive about a woman or girl so clumsy she can”t balance a cup on a tray?  Or so meek and quiet you can barely make out what she’s saying? Supposedly this started out as a way to trigger the “big brother” sense of protectiveness in the average male.  It makes sense then that moé characters tend to be pretty childish, though the unintelligence and everything else about them doesn”t really follow from that.  And since moé seems to have engaged erections more than anything else, it makes me wonder about people who actually find this moe shit attractive.  What’s worse is that the “big brother” aspect apparently hasn’t gone away, which is why shows like Oreimo have an audience, buncha pervs.

And it’s not just that they act like they do either, it’s that apparently a lot of the moé fan base insists that this sickening form of fan service must be virginal, since apparently they feel threatened at the idea of an attractive woman with more sexual experience than they have.  Though “attractive” is hardly the word for it.  You people find a blob with big eyes attractive?  Really?  Really!?

The eyes are almost always drawn so far apart that the character looks like she has Down syndrome.  Does the idea of getting it on with a retarded girl really get you people off?  If it does, you need to seek professional help.  And while you’re at it, stop demanding this moé shit from the anime industry.  The rest of us who aren’t sick fucks can’t stand it and want something other than anime about socially awkward perverts like you and the retarded girls they fantasize about.  There are never anymore shows like Ghost in the Shell or Cowboy Bebop because of you assholes, so knock it off already and check yourself into a mental hospital where people who prey on little retarded girls belong.’