What Am I Watch?! – United 777-222 IPTE Edition
Attack On Titan – 2015 Live Action Movie
This will be closer to (but not entirely) a full review, since in this instance I watched the totality of the “plot” arc of this movie. The background on this is that on my way home, I caught myself a shiny (but really old) 777-200 home on my way to Lost Wages. United’s seatback entertainment selection included this live action adaptation of the anime. I’ve never seen Titan before this in either form, and Chen-willing, I was going to see what the whole hulaboo was about.
In short, I should have seen the anime first…
For those oblivious to the lore of this franchise, Humanity walled themselves up in a settlement against giant, humanoid, people eating monsters called “Titans”. For 100 years, the attacks had stopped, but in step our three main characters: Eren, Armin and Mikasa (es su Casa). Eren is tired of living comfortably within the confines of the Walls, and ventures out to see it when *gasp* a big-ass Titian breaks the Outer Wall in to let his buddies snack on the people in the agriculture district. (spoiler, they sound like celery) The plot, much like N771UA’s flight plan, ends up being logically (and laughably predictable) laid out in such that it shows some townspeople being dicks to each other by not letting people into the church, where Erin and Mikasa (holding a babby) gets eaten….or so you think.
In more ways than one, the plot flys by, and we’re two years down the road (and 150 miles closer to SFO). Armin and Eren (A&E) have joined the Scouting Regiment. Their new mission is to find new life, to boldly go where no man has gone before go to the Ag district, kill the Titians, and re-seal the wall, because as it turns out, no farms equal no food (and I don’t need the Farmer’s Union to tell me that twice). Because of this, a lot of the Regiment is in it just to get fed, for glory, or in this case of this baby mama, for the bennies:
Sidenote: I didn’t see why it was necessary for the IFE to remind us every so often what airline you’re flying.
Enter a generically evil, plotting Military Police Commander, and you find out after they venture out that they were actually supposed to secure some explosives and a bunker. While this is all going on, Eren discovers that Mikasa has not been ate (but was bitten), but rather became a cold, distant Titan killer and is involved with another man, Shikishima. This makes him angry/cry/sad/wishing I had kept watching Whose Line Is It Anyway? Instead.
He also happens to be the squad leader and lead expositionist for this part of the plot, when he tells the origin of the Titans, plan a little coup and whatnot. This meeting also turned out to be a “pump up” meeting as Shikishima gives Eren a sort of reason for fighting the Eljer Titans in the form of some overused, trite phrase.
This happens in time for the naked hungry giants to attack, and this sets in motion what’s left of the plot. Trust me. Things happen.
These things include much of the Squad being eaten despite their flying rope hook things. The BFF Armin almost gets eaten, but is saved by our hero Eren who then gets screentime to be seen going down into the Titans esogaphus and into the stomach. (ewwwwwwwww). This is, of course, after he looses a leg to one of them and hand on the way down. Meanwhile, Mikasa, who finally shows up emotionally again, fights despite the plot demanding that her gas powered flying rope hook thing be low on gas.
By pure rage alone, Eren assumes Titan form and beats the shit out the Titans, scaring them away. Mikasa cuts open the nape of the neck (the preferred location to kill them), and it turns out that’s where a Titan’s human is stored. Basically, they’re giant fleshy mechas. They pull out Eren who ends up healed from all of his wounds.
This movie is supposed to be in two parts, and judging by the length indicated by the PTV, this was part one. It seems rather abridged, and many times over I’ve heard of issues tying to pare down a 26 episode series into a movie (or two). I felt gypped having randomly skipped two years, as the training would have been an interesting aspect to follow, especially given the rag-tag vibe that the crew gives out.
Eren himself remains an interesting , if annoying part of the story. When not crying or whining, or moping, or getting into fights with the preppy kids on the crew, he can actually kick some ass, but even that took the Squad Leader getting him into gear.
Overall, it didn’t seem like this movie earned any of dramatic moments in it. A good movie will lead you on, draw you into a story, this seemed like it was going through the motions (or following a pre-determined flight plan), and not building anything. Coattailing on hype alone, it left an empty feeling, a feeling that much more could have been put into it besides great special effects.
I’m going to return to the franchise, but in the anime form, because I want to fill the empty spot this movie (and the sold out French Country-style bowl) left me on this flight.
We wanted to do a special edition for the holidays, focusing on the varied forms of twangy banjo in anime. Yet a search of the otakuverse reveals only two works of anime have credited banjo performances: From Up On Poppy Hill, some slice-of-life schoolkids film, and Lord Marksman and Vanadis, which looks like an ecchi swordplay sorta thing. MaximumWeeaboo shall not rest until it gets to the bottom of Banjogate
This is an anime I caught midstream on Adult Swim’s Toonami. Because the schedule for 11/29/15 indicated that this was the only anime that was showing, this became my go-to for something to watch while I packed my bag for IAD.
I had started during episode 5 and ended on episode 7 (similar to the Crunchyroll box of anime method of viewing), and frankly was kind of weirded out-and this is someone who watched the likes of Tokyo Gore Police.
The setup is such: parasites descend, and/or appear on Earth, and/or travel too far on the Metro Silver Line to take over human hosts. Their usual operation is to burrow into the heads of their hosts via the ear, but since our protagonist, high school student Shinichi Izumi, was wearing his headphones, it goes to the logical alternate destination: his right arm.
Evidently, these little shits can fight and stuff like that, plus have extremely good spatial orientation. That’s cool and all, but goddamn I was laughing about the questionable choice on this “design”. Every one knows what every high school student does with their hands, and jfc, the Rule 34 writes itself.
I’m equally curious by the plot plus cool fights and oddly off put by the character design of the main character/parasite. Everyone else gets the headcrabs, yet our guy gets the a hand with eyes, lips, mouth, fighting ability, and a judging look while you fap thinking you cheated because you used the other hand.
I can’t wrap my head around this, but like the Silver Line, perhaps patience will pay off to something better?