Panty Anarchy

by Punch Rockgroin

America’s Slut!

Any fan of anime is well aware how women are generally portrayed in the medium. They range from eye candy that are reliant on men to battle-hardened warriors that are reliant on men. This is plenty for the common weeaboo, since he (or maybe she?) likes to imagine women as being the sort: there’s someone for them because no matter how tough a woman is, she will have a weak spot for a man that “understands” her. Or so they like to think. Gainax, during their drunken partying after the completion of Gurren Lagann, said “Hey, let’s make an anime with a couple characters named Panty and Stocking.”

And lo, a new breed of female enters the scene, the Heaven-sent blonde bombshell Panty. A wielder of weaponized underwear, she stalks Daten City for ghosts… sort of. More importantly, she’s after men, and lots of them. Panty is not the typical anime female. Yes, she’s strong, but her reliance on men is clearly for their pervert pistols. She’s not after a relationship, she just really likes sex. Oh my, a woman in an anime… who likes sex?

I forgot to mention that the neckbeards who like the moéblobs that are spawned in giant vats at animation studios have a thing for a character’s purity. They’d all much prefer them to be virgins and then find their love and only have sex with that person, ever. Nay, a strong, independent woman like Panty arouses the otaku’s ire like it probably not-so-secretly arouses the peepee. Panty is a line in the sand, albeit one with perky, sensitive breasts. For the purity-obsessed, she’s venomous and deadly, nothing that should be sought after or prized.

And yet, for all the hate Panty garners with Japan’s terrible male otaku population, the American male hearts Panty. Sure, she might be low on the “morals scale,” but just think: she could kick your ass, but would rather give you a piece of hers. No worries about maintaining a relationship, which is something the average weeaboo couldn’t handle. What’s not to love?

Usually, a woman who likes sex in anime is either dumber than a bag of hammers or is such a bitch as to not be likable in any way. Panty may be an unrepentant slut, but she’s not bag-of-hammers dumb, and not a huge bitch. Certainly she snubs otaku-everyman Brief constantly, but what woman wouldn’t? Maybe the Japanese won’t tire of the helpless woman in an anime, but America has chosen:

Panty today,
Panty tomorrow,
Panty all night long!

 

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